CROSS-POSTED AT THE COLLEGE VOICE.
As I woke up this morning and checked the news, I came across this
frightening article:
‘Sexting’ Tops Parents’ Back-to-School Worries […]
Nearly half of the parents polled (49%) listed their top concern as sexting, followed by text messaging at 33%. In addition, 49% of respondents said their child had received an inappropriate text message or picture, and 21% reported their child has received a sext.
Oh, wow. That's shocking! Let's keep on reading about this astounding survey…
The survey was conducted by SpectorSoft, a software company that produces internet and cell phone monitoring programs. […] SpectorSoft polled more than 550 of its users of mobile phone and internet monitoring software.
Let me get this straight: a company with a financial reason to want to scare parents, used a survey conducted with a small sample of people who were already so scared that they had already purchased that company's software. Who could honestly give such a biased poll any type of creditability?
Bryan Bowers, author of Keep Your Family Safe Online says the survey proves parents are starting to gain greater awareness of what their children are actually up to on their phones and online.
Yes, another individual with a financial reason to scare parents would probably consider this be quite useful. The article does not provide any other points of view, other than the "parents should be really, really scared" angle. However, as much as I can criticize the article or the polling methods or the conflicts of interest, is there a legitimate worry here?
Lisa Shaw, senior director of Child Safety at SpectorSoft, says sexting is a major concern for parents because teens and tweens may not grasp the severity of the actions they are taking.
Your children sending out personal information to strangers online? That's a problem. Your children sending out credit card, social security, or other financial stuffs to strangers online? That's also a problem. Your children meeting up (in real life) with strangers they've met online? That's a big problem.
Your children consensually sending racy sexts to another child? I guess I fail to see how that's really too much of a threat.
I'm not encouraging people to sext, however, it seems that sexting would lead more to social embarrassment than it would to long-term consequences.* The picture may be permanent, but, realistically, people do move on. In my view, a large part of the reason that the concept of sexting scares parents is that a sext is an explicit reminder of their children's sexuality. No longer can such topics be brushed under the metaphorical rug, when children use technology to take control over their own sexualities.
Then, Fox News turns down-right creepy:
No. 1: Get their passwords. Bowers said parents should have access to their children's Twitter and Facebook accounts, and should check these sites on a weekly basis.
"Get in there and see what's going on, or if anything is suspicious," he says. "Cyber bullying can explode from day one to day six, that is why once a week you should be checking proactively to take steps to protect your child."
Don't you love how this so-called expert justifies stealing children's passwords? He mentions bullying which is, for all intents and purposes, the first mention of it in the entire article.
No. 2: Take note of the device your child is using. Laptops and computers aren’t the outlet for kids to hop online. Parents should realize where and how their kids are using the Internet and monitor that device. Also, keep tabs on the monthly phone bill to see how often and with who your child is texting.
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| Fox News' next genius suggestion. |
While suggestion number two might not sound too bad, pay attention to the last part of the suggestion: "keep tabs on the monthly phone bill to see how often and with who your child is texting". This goes way beyond merely checking the bill for overage – this gets into the area of spying on your children. Creepy.
No. 3: 'Friend' your kids. Send 'Friend' requests to your children on Facebook and request to follow them on Twitter. This way, they know you are on these sites and you can see what they are up to, Bowers says.
This suggestion isn't actually too bad. I know a lot of children who know their parents can see what they post, so they have a much safer profile. That being said, they often just resort to private messaging, which defeats the purpose of the parent adding them.
However, I would also make the case that children should have an outlet to express themselves with their friends, without their parents creeping over their shoulders. For example, I remember coming out of the closet on Facebook long before I accepted my parent's friend request.
No. 4: Consider software. Parental control software will do the "heavy lifting" for parents in terms of monitoring children's online activity.
"It will send alerts to you when something [irregular] occurs," Bowers says. "It will tell you if your child just got a suspicious text and other texting lingo for things like 'let's meet in real life,'" from online friends.
Once again, the article mentions something super scary (for the first time) in an attempt to justify something super creepy (spying on children). For shame.
No. 5: Talk to them. "Make sure there is a two-way communication to understand what is going on in their life," Bowers advises. "Let them know they can come to you."
This is basically the ONLY good advice that this entire article suggests. Why is it No. 5? It should be No. 1 on this list. Scratch that – it should be the ONLY one on this list.
It’s also a good idea to reminds kids that what they say online can have long-lasting repercussions, and that they shouldn’t post anything that might come back to bite them as an adult.
As much as it might suck for some people to have an intimate picture being owned by people for decades and decades (long after relationships have ended), how will it "bite them"?
I think children deserve some privacy, increasingly more as they mature and as they earn it. Using the boogie-man of sexting to take this away from them is not right. Giving children appropriate amounts of freedom teaches them to be independent and to manage affairs themselves. Fox News, and other conservative thoughts, seem to favor a more abrasive parenting technique; I think that's unfair to the children.
Why won't someone –
anyone! - think of the children!?
* Legal consequences are state-specific, and many areas have begun to liberalize their laws on this.
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